Today I’m at the first day of PortCon and the blog is largely on autopilot. However, as yesterday was a little thin on content, I thought I would share a fun little thing I did recently.
On a whim last week, I placed a challenge on Reddit saying that if someone posted a reply with a MONSTER TYPE and a NON-MONSTER MOVIE TITLE I’d mash the ideas together and give them my elevator pitch for a story based off of them.
The four proposals that came in were really fun! I enjoyed the resulting pitches I came up with in reply enough that I wanted to share them with you today. :-) Would you want to read or watch any of these stories after I pitched them to you?
Note: For best effect, read these pitches in the immortal voice of Don LaFontaine.
Request One: Slimes and Bridget Jones Diary
Bridget is happy in her life as a bibliophile translating obscure medieval texts with her fiancé, until the day she was diagnosed with inoperable cancer. Seeking-out the diary of a forgotten twelfth-century alchemist, she secretly uses the arcane formula within in an attempt to magically save her life. But the process instead rips the soul and consciousness from her body and places it into a blob of translucent green goo in a jar! Her own body possessed by the soul of a Demon Alchemist hell-bent on world domination, Bridget is helpless as the apocalyptic fiend leaves kissing her unaware lover.
Fighting to escape, she smashes the jar and utilizes newfound powers of elasticity and malleability to form a simulacrum of her former self. But dose this newborn monster-girl have what it takes to stop the Demon Alchemist? Can she foil her diabolical plans and save her fiancé in time? And even if she can, what chance could they possibly have to stay together?
Request Two: Succubi and The Polar Express
Samuel Jones was a two-bit hood, and the only good thing he ever did was try to talk his insane liquor-store co-robber out of killing the old man behind the counter. It worked… he put a shotgun slug between Samuel’s eyes instead.
Niika was a devil’s spawn intended to mature into the greatest of succubi. Yet her every effort was spent to conceal the flaw of mercy that festered in her infernal soul.
When the path of the man who might not deserve Hell crosses that of the devil-child seeking to escape it… the two form an unlikely alliance. Together they punch one-way tickets on the fast track outa’ the inferno… The Purgatory Express… and will make it stop at Earth and a chance for mortal lives even if they have to hijack it!
Request Three: Godzilla/Daikaiju and Mamma Mia!
In a world collapsing after twenty years of colossal kaiju attacks, brilliant teen Sophia Shiotani works diligently with her scientist mother to find a way to stop the gigantic monsters. Having spent her life isolated on a beautiful but remote pacific island, she is captivated by ace pilot Sky when he bravely flies and fights his way there seeking answers to his critical mission. After a hesitant first kiss, the teens begin to develop more than a growing attraction as they manifest a psychic connection to one another and the kaiju they had sought to destroy.
Together they finally learn the truth: That they are each the product of secret and independent experiments to craft “Ambassadors” that can reason with the destructive monsters and find a way for men and monsters to live in peace. In doing so the genetically engineered teens carry not only the DNA of their mothers, but that of three fathers… and the telepathic genes from the kaiju themselves.
Branded as dangerous as the monsters they fight, Sophia and Sky find themselves hunted by a world council focused on a desperate and relentless war with the kaiju. But when the titans emerge as never before and a final battle that could end the world looms… Can the Ambassadors live up to their destiny and unite men and monsters to face an even greater threat?
Request Four: Basilisks and Back to the Future...
Martree thought Master Magus Brown’s exploration of the Petrified Kingdom was hopeless. As hopeless as the 1,955 years that came after its fall and saw the rise of the basilisks that has pushed mankind to the edge of extinction. But when they unearth the beautiful statue that was once a princess, the wizards apprentice is moved by the sad, silent plea upon her frozen face.
Discovering a portal to the past that Magus Brown had hoped beyond all reason was still active, they are attacked by basilisks as they attempt to enter it. Seeing his master petrified before him, Martree plunges 1,955 years into the past to find some way… some weakness, to stop the basilisks when he returns to the future.
But his adventure and vow to not interfere with the past soon goes awry, when he saves the very princess he found from her petrified fate!
A paradox created and the future now in a state of uncertain flux, can Martree somehow save the woman he’s begun to fall in love with? Can he save her doomed people… and stop the *Rise of the Basilisks* before it has even begun?
So… would you want to read or watch any of these stories after I pitched them to you? Comment and let me know below! Take care!