October 8th to 14th: The Grief Wound

October 14th, 2020:

A lot of the past week was spent working through the loss of my friend that happened last Sunday. Wednesday I felt emotionally clear enough to write about our friendship and posted it as a eulogy on Facebook. It reached a lot of mutual friends that didn’t know he’d passed, and some of his that I don’t know and also hadn’t heard. There were a lot of kind comments, but the net effect reopened the wound of grief for me.

I took Thursday off (it’s my scheduled “non-writing, try to have fun” day now), and patched the grief wound again doing so. On Friday morning I started to work on the Arium commission again, but was then asked to write another eulogy for my friend. The request came from an organization we both had long-standing ties to that wanted to recognize his deeds and passing. I knew it would reopen that emotional wound once more, but I wasn’t going to decline: He’s dead. I’m just sad. So I put my stuff aside, wrote a second eulogy that everyone said was beautiful, and ripped that grief wide-open all over again.

I was depressed all weekend, but I helped others process my friend’s death and honored him another time. I even think I helped myself understand what his passing means to me in a deeper way because of it. Those are good things. But now I’m ready to let myself heal and move on.

I got back on my emotional feet Monday and back to working on the Arium commission. Over the past two days I’ve gotten my draft for the “Over the Top, Gonzo” section of Arium: Flash four-fifths done. I came up the final two adventure seed ideas— The Convention Beyond the Gate and Duck You— and wrote them after a very frustrating Sunday where I just couldn’t make a prior idea work. I also got the drafts for Carnivorous Cabbages and Mercenaries of Darkness completed. Only the Tournament of the Jade Emperor seed remains to be written as of today.

My goal for the week is to finish the last fifth of the draft for Arium and then at least start work on a flash fiction or short story I want to write for Halloween.

Take care everyone. Be safe, and keep writing.

~Jason H. Abbott