WIP-it Wednesday: September 2nd, 2015. New House!

Time for a new weekly writer’s roundup of my works-in-progress and those ready to read!

I wrote as much as I could on Wednesday and Thursday of last week, but given everything going on for the house purchase, it was not nearly enough to finish my pirate story for the August Writers Challenge. Since Friday, I haven’t even had the time to enjoy and read the submissions to the contest…. I’m not giving up on my pirate story however, and I will finish it. I’m still hoping to release it in conjunction with International Talk Like a Pirate Day on September 19th.

The reason I’ve been pulled away from my writing is that the sale on my new house was completed on Friday! :-D It’s ours and I spent a packed weekend with friends and family making our new home ready for habitation before actually moving in later this month. There was ripping and tearing and cleaning and moving and all the joys of making something that was abused loved and beautiful again. :-) I’ll be doing the same this weekend.

The recent history of the property, as best as we can tell, has been a bit shady. The prior owner converted as many spaces within the house as possible into bedrooms and rented out the rooms without living there. He had people living in a porch mudroom, a creepy basement room like something from Silence of the Lambs, and even closets like something J. K. Rowling might write. I’m sure some of these poor folks were just living hard times, but at least a significant portion were chain-smoking slobs who ended up being evicted by the police. The property was neglected and upkeep ignored, and we suspect illegal drug activities were conducted here in the past because of some very odd damage found on floors and fixtures.

Fortunately, there was no serious harm to the bones and flesh of the property. It’s like finding a dirty but friendly stray dog. You give the little guy a meal and affection, and after a bath and a trip to the groomer you begin to wonder if this great canine is the same dirty animal you took in.

Definitely some weird things must have gone down in this property’s nearly hundred years of history. We’ve already discovered secret rooms, trap doors and buried treasure… appropriate enough given that I’m writing a pirate story. ;-) Fortunately, it hasn’t gotten this weird yet…

Amongst the things we have found so far was a nailed-shut trap-door under removed carpet in the mudroom. I looked at my friend Oden, who is as handy as a team of dwarven craftsmen, and we exchanged an oath to split any wad of thousand dollar bills we might find inside before setting to work with my trusty crowbar. Within however, we only found an old Coke can and an antique sign from the 60’s in good shape… A nifty collector’s item, but man, I wanted gold coins or cash! ;-)

In the back of a large hidden closet under a loose board, we also found a stash of Pokemon cards, empty cassette tape boxes, prescription pill bottles, a chess set, pogs, a rodent skull and… an empty condom wrapper.

The back yard held the “buried” treasure. Clearing years of outdoor detritus I found a stone walkway that had been covered and forgotten under leaves and pine needles. I can’t believe someone would let that become covered for want of ten minutes of time spent with a rake!

Presently, I’m still holding out hope that I’ll find a box in the attic containing untouched copies of Action Comics #1 and Detective Comics #27. ;-)

My friend David, being an awesome person and helping with everything, commented on the odd upstairs room I have claimed as my “Writer’s Den”. He claims that not only does it feature non-euclidean geometry that reminds him of H.P. Lovecraft’s The Dreams in the Witch House, but there is also a crack in the wall eerily similar to the “Cracks in the universe” featured in Dr Who…


I sure can pick ‘em, I guess. ;-)

One member of my writing group proposed upon hearing this that the September or October Writing Challenge prompt should be “Mysterious Tales of Jason’s House”. I got a good laugh from that! It even prompted me to write this little reply on my lunch-break…

Wearily, the author pried back the final plank sealing the no longer hidden room and it fell to the floor with a thud. Cautiously stepping inside with a flashlight, the interior contours of its non-euclidean geometry were cavernously and outrageously out of proportion to the interior of the old house he had recently purchased.

Staggering about in wonder and awe, he rounded a corner and sighted an enormous, sleeping tendril of green. The merest fraction of it held such cosmic malevolence in the thralls of undying dreams that he recoiled in horror and terror. A dozen ominous robotic shells shaped like salt and pepper shakers emerged at his scream, waving cyclopean eyestalks and plunger like appendages.

The flash of death-rays narrowly missed him as he ran for his life amid their cries for his extermination. All hope seemed lost as he tripped and fell with the weird beings about to overtake him, but a hand came from the darkness and pulled him to his feet. His rescuer was a tall man with a smile and ridiculously long scarf. By his side was a second man… younger, bespectacled and wearing Chuck Taylor sneakers in contrast to his pinstriped suit. He withdrew a whirring gadget not dissimilar to something the author had been using to put together the cabinets downstairs as the robotic aliens caught sight of the trio…

Alright, time for me to stop blogging and get back to writing some more fiction working on my new house while I can! Take care!

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