A Plea to Dairy Divinity

Dairy Divine

“You’re an acquaintance of the god of dairy products?”

“To be clear, they are the god of FERMENTED dairy products.”

“How’d you meet them?”

“On a blood curdling adventure.”

“Sounds, cheesy.”

“Yogurt that right!”

“I think you’re milking this.”

“No whey.”

Mask

Nibs opened the box. “This one’s a bust.”

The package thieves stared at the respirator mask in the car.

“Stupid pandemic,” Adam said as Nibs put it on.

Nibs shivered, then grabbed and killed Adam with a dashboard smash.

“Wrong target assimilated,” the mask said.

Draughts

“How many Ent-draughts did you drink?”

She smiled and sat beside Leaf. “All of ‘em!”

The Ent shook his head. “You’ve gone from human to Entwife!”

They exchange looks as the birch giantess stretches her long legs and root toes. “Can I be an Ent girlfriend first?”

Or Else

Bob’s mouth was full of chili dog. “Will this take much longer?”

“The nature of magic is complicated,” the old witch said on her knees. “The sigils must be explicit and perfect, or else.”

“But I’ll get a wish?”

She saw a glob of chili obscure a symbol. “Or else.”

A Plea to Monster Island

Tony’s stomach churned hearing titanic footsteps. “Any news? Can you ESP him?”

The girl concentrated. “No. Help me.”

The kids joined hands, as they did earlier for psychic mischief.

“King Kaiju…” he thought.

“Save the Earth!” she finished.