Mid-Week Muses: “I told him not to…”

A weekly compilation of collected microfictions composed by yours truly. Follow me on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram for daily dabs of fiction. If your time is short, these are shorter!

Copyright © by Jason H. Abbott, All Rights Reserved.

Featured Image: Daylight Horror, by Logan Preshaw

“Like the others, I got powers because I was reading a superhero comic when the reality split occurred.” “You don’t lament becoming a rhinoceros man?” “Nope! It’s awesome.” “No regrets?” “Nah, it could’ve been worse. Interview Hentai-Man if you want to hear regret.” Leroy stalked closer, knife drawn. “Here chick, chick, chick…” Paul caught sight of him. “What are you doing?!” “Gettin’ us a chicken dinner.” “You fool! Those are VELOCI-CHICKENS!! They’re like land piranhas!” They swarmed, all talons and clucks. “RUN!” “You’re late,” Amada says. Nuronin sits beside her. “A wizard is never late, he always—” “Yes, whatever,” she waves. “The emperor ate the phoenix egg. Said it was delicious.” “I told him not to…” “Now he’s immortal?” The emperor burst into flames. “Nope!” Smoke and heat billowed from the crashed spaceship as Adam laid the alien he’d saved down. They cough, then whisper to Adam. “You’re brave… here, take this.” “Is it, a Green Lantern ring?” They blink perplexed. “No. It’s a medkit. Help me out here, dumbass!” Old Agnes checks her email, then falls asleep beside her black cat. She awakens in the forest, twenty-something. “Matisse has reached the Finisterre cliffs,” she says to her panther. “A long trip, but at our age we’ll soon be permanent residents of the Dreamlands.” “They’re not alive,” the Union scout pants, “but they’re walking! A thousand Confederate war-dead reanimated!” Colonel Chamberlain hands him water. “Any things in our favor defending this hill?” “Two: They’re slow as hell, and the worst shots I’ve ever seen!” “What’s going on?” she asks her accountant turned wizard. “The simulation updates often, but we’re not supposed to be aware.” “This is crazy! I’m a CEO, not a village tramp!” “No. You’re a complex character model with a glitch in your code. Like me.”

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