Copyright © by Jason H. Abbott, All Rights Reserved.
Featured Image: Dino Battle, by Pouya Moayedi
His vassal motions to the skeleton legion. “Raising this host took significant skullduggery.” “And they’re effective?” the king asks. “It’s a bare bones army, but they get the job done.” “Are you a necromancer or a comedian?” “Death is easy, m’lord. Comedy is hard.” “May 12th, 1870,” he writes. “At a depth of 99 fathoms, I am hallucinating from oceanic pressures…” The mermaid child sits half out of the water portal at the bottom of the diving bell. She reaches for a brass valve. “Ooh!” “Don’t touch that!” he warns. A horde of peasants surrounded the pair. “I am not a münster!” the cheese golem yelled. The circle of pitchforks and torches, stopped. He gestured to his vegetative companion. “And he is a Human Bean!” The village collectively groaned, then made enchiladas. “The storm will be here soon,” John Horse says. “Great orenda. Here, take this.” He offers me a rain poncho. “Do your traditions prepare you to face monsters?” I ask. He shrugs. “Does Celtic reconstructionism teach you how to swing that sword of Cú Chulainn?” A giant of ice approaches the portal as Nazi scientists and Quisling collaborators kept the invention running. Knut lowers his binoculars. “I can’t stop a jötunn!” The Norwegian commando looks at the hammer he had found. “Unless…” Mjölnir glows. The defenders kneel as he lands on the castle. “Please, no,” he says. “I’m not an angel, the wings are just a magical mutation.” “And the flaming sword?” the countess asks. “Magic.” “The halo?” “Magic crown.” “Your angelic, physique?” “Flying is a workout.” “What happened to the world?” she asks. “We thought of time as immutable and set. It’s not,” he said. “There’s subduction and uplift. Usually gradual, but sometimes—” “There’s a timequake.” He nods. “Civilization is now the past of a dinosaur present.”